Political Philosophies Explained in Simple Two-Cow Terms

Political Philosophies Explained in Simple Two-Cow Terms

用两头母牛论解释政治哲学。

SOCIALISM You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

社会主义:你有两头母牛,自己留一头,另一头给邻居。

COMMUNISM You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

共产主义:你有两头母牛。政府把它们牵走并给你提供牛奶。

FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

法西斯主义:你有两头母牛,政府把它们牵走并卖给你牛奶。

BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

官僚主义:你有两头母牛。政府把它们都牵走,杀了一头,挤另一头的奶,付给你牛奶钱,然后把牛奶倒入水沟。

CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

资本主义:你有两头母牛,你卖了一头,然后买了头公牛。

CORPORATE You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.

公司:你有两头母牛,卖了一头,拿剩下的那头母牛当四头母牛用,最后故作惊讶地发现,那头牛死了。

DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay the taxes to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

民主: 你有两头母牛,你卖掉它们所需交纳的税款,正好够另外一个国家的人从你的政府收到一头母牛作为救济。

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